Years ago, when I first started writing my memoir, I had a working title I thought was so clever, it would become a best seller on the title’s merits alone. 

The title was based on the idea that there were no good guys or bad guys in the story of my son Matt’s rumble with a brain tumor. 

There were doctors who could have listened better, and maybe they would have, had I been more assertive. All the other characters, from teachers to family members to my husband Mike were trying to do their best in their relationship with Matt. They weren’t heroes, nor were they villains.

My book wasn’t out to cast blame or shame. It still isn’t. There were no black and white judgements or characters, only shades of grey. The title captured all of that, with multiple plays on words:

Shades of Grey MATTer. 

You see now why I have to come up with something different? And I’m still working on it.




  • An emerging writer in upstate, NY, Karen DeBonis tells her story on her website, in publications like the NY Times, (a Tiny Love Story), in her “Become Emboldened” projects, and elsewhere. "Portrait of a People-Pleaser and the Son Who Paid the Price", Karen’s transformational memoir about a woman’s quest for authenticity and the courage to speak her truth, is currently available for representation.

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  1. Harold Muhammad (Dr. H) on May 8, 2018 at 2:29 AM

    You are so determined therefore you will most certainly succeed. No doubt at all !

  2. Karen DeBonis on May 8, 2018 at 10:40 AM

    Thank you for your comment and the encouragement! Yes – I will succeed- no doubt about that!

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