What is people-pleasing? Ask a people-pleaser.
Is it possible to undo the chains of people-pleasing? It IS. I am proof–imperfect and often relapsing–but committed and successful all the same.Continue Reading
Is it okay to tell a friend to shut up?
Can shame make you sick?
I made it all about her–the babysitter.–about protecting her feelings rather than protecting my child.Continue Reading
Fear of abandonment. What people-pleasers should know
Since I wrote last month about fear of conflict and anger—the main drivers of my (fading!) people-pleasing—I’ve been mulling over the fear of abandonment, curious if it also fits into my puzzle. Here’s what I learned.Continue Reading
Fear and Anger and What Happens When They Intersect.
Anger has always been a tricky emotion for me. I feel it, and I know it’s normal and healthy, but I don’t always know what to do with it or how to express it in a constructive way.Continue Reading
Can people-pleasing be inherited?
Neither my mother nor my father would ever say a bad word about anyone. If they had nothing nice to say, they said nothing at all. It was an admirable trait, and my parents were formidable role models.Continue Reading
What Does it Mean to Be Emboldened?
In the process of adding new content to my website, I came up with a phrase that grabbed me. As a writer, I loved the alliteration. As a recovering people-pleaser, I loved how it made me feel. I was smitten.Continue Reading
Why Kindness Matters
Sometimes, what looks like conflict-aversion is really a choice to be kind. I started this blog before my dad, from whom I learned the importance of doing good unto others, was given just days to live.Continue Reading
Personal Accountability Matters. Here’s why.
Holding others accountable is hard for people-pleasers because it involves confrontation, which carries the risk of rejection. It’s less scary to pretend negative things don’t happen.Continue Reading
Why Vulnerability is a Strength.
A recent coffee flood and ego-boosting news from the New York Times tie together many threads.Continue Reading