People-pleasing
Can people-pleasing be inherited?
Neither my mother nor my father would ever say a bad word about anyone. If they had nothing nice to say, they said nothing at all. It was an admirable trait, and my parents were formidable role models.
Continue ReadingI’m becoming emboldened, and you can, too.
In the process of adding new content to my website, I came up with a phrase that grabbed me. As a writer, I loved the alliteration. As a recovering people-pleaser, I loved how it made me feel. I was smitten.
Continue ReadingLet hope choose you.
I had this blog almost ready to send Wednesday morning. It started like this: “I choose hope in 2021, in spite of everything that could still go wrong—COVID, political turmoil, record snowstorms like we had here in upstate NY last week, failing to get a book deal.” Had I sent it, I would have felt foolish. That afternoon, watching the siege of the US Capital unfold, my hope was overpowered by fear and bewilderment. Yet hope still chooses me.
Continue ReadingOur Wake of Kindness
Sometimes, what looks like conflict-aversion is really a choice to be kind.
Continue ReadingAccountability matters–here's why.
Holding others accountable is hard for people-pleasers because it involves confrontation, which carries the risk of rejection. It’s less scary to pretend negative things don’t happen.
Continue ReadingVulnerability, humility, and ego.
A recent coffee flood and ego-boosting news from the New York Times tie together many threads.
Continue ReadingRacism is hidden within ourselves.
So what am I gonna do about racism? That’s the question we’re all asking ourselves, isn’t it?
Continue ReadingSelf-disclosure of my people-pleasing.
Sharing my truth means I can’t hide from it. Once it’s out, I’m confronted with its destructiveness and feel I have no choice but to change.
Continue ReadingPeople-pleasing knocks a hole in my accountability. Act 2.
My people-pleasing ensures that no one feels bad–No big deal! Don’t worry! I hate when that happens!–except me.
Continue ReadingAs a people-pleaser, my truth holds me accountable.
For better or for worse, I’d rather have a hole the size of New Jersey in my wall than yell at the person who put it there.
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