Happy Positivity Day!

Today is Friday the 13th, a day some people truly dread. For others, these unlucky Fridays provide a whimsical excuse for all that goes wrong. April was the most recent time a Friday fell on the thirteenth. When I shared some thoughts about it, I received a comment by this writer suggesting that every Friday the 13th should be considered “simple life day.” I loved the idea.

But I’ve changed my mind.

Today, I declare that Friday the 13th henceforth will be known as “Positivity Day.”

There. It’s official, at least, in my world.

I have good reason to choose this new designation. One month ago, on an unlucky Wednesday, a family member called to say she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. It was too early to reveal her identity, but now I’ll tell you that it was Mary Beth, my only sister, my confidante, my beautiful, talented, caring, spirited, chronic illness warrior partner.

It was the second time a brain tumor crashed into my world. The first time, it was Matthew, my 11-year old son, who was no longer my “Little Einstein, or my “gazelle,” and we couldn’t figure out why until a brain scan revealed the problem.

There are so many similarities in Mary Beth’s and Matthew’s stories, it’s eerie. “Surreal,” my sister and I kept saying on the phone.

My sister’s tumor, a benign meningioma the size of an orange, was removed in a nine hour surgery. Last week, I flew out to spend time with her, and saw first-hand that she is doing amazingly well. Amazing as in, less than a month post-surgery, Mary Beth is feeling and functioning better than at any time in the past five years when her journey of pain and weakness began.

Matthew’s recovery was not so dramatic, but equally amazing. At 32, he manages his independent life better than many older, wiser adults. If you didn’t know what he’s been through, you’d never suspect what he’s been through. My memoir, in progress, tells of my struggle to parent Matthew through his challenges, a struggle that exposed the depth of my personal weaknesses. A perfect life could never have taught me so much.

My own brain still struggles to wrap itself around this recent brain tumor surprise. There are life lessons hiding in it, yet to be discovered. With time, I’ll find them and work them into my writing. I have to get back to work on my memoir manuscript. It has a new chapter. Or perhaps a sequel, as my sister suggested.

Today, I’m going to find positivity in everything. Already, the day is exploding with examples: the sky is blue, the sun bright, the AC ready for the afternoon’s humidity. My Rose of Sharon shrubs have popped with pink and purple flowers, the white balls of blooms on my hydrangea are bigger than my head. My coffee was perfect this morning, and I’m sitting in my PJs tapping away in my quiet, cool dining room. Matthew will be stopping by this weekend to visit, and Mary Beth texted this morning to say she is full of joy.

It’s working! Positivity reigns!

If you find positivity in an unusual place today, or any day, please share it with me! You just might nudge another reader (or me) toward the same discovery.  

No Comments

  1. Vaishali Singh on July 13, 2018 at 4:01 PM

    It’s all about beliefs. Ma’am

  2. Vaishali Singh on July 13, 2018 at 4:02 PM

    A friend of mine had her birthday on 13th. She loves 13th.and so do we

    • Karen DeBonis on July 13, 2018 at 4:48 PM

      As is my son’s birthday. In fact, he turned 13 on a Friday the 13th, as I recall, and he survived to live an amazing life!

  3. Deborah Renfrew on July 13, 2018 at 4:28 PM

    Karen, thanks for an uplifting post today. I need it at the moment. Glad to hear of your sister’s successful surgery and looking forward to your (first) memoir.

    • Karen DeBonis on July 13, 2018 at 4:52 PM

      I’m glad it came at a good time, Deb, and I hope the positivity carries you through the moment and day. Thanks for your comment, and for your support of my memoir, whether it’s my first or last!

  4. Catherine Lanser on July 13, 2018 at 4:55 PM

    This post is wonderful. I never really give Friday the 13th a thought, but I love making it positivity day. I’m especially grateful for Friday this week and am looking forward to a relaxing weekend.

    • Karen DeBonis on July 13, 2018 at 5:02 PM

      Thanks Catherine! If Monday the 13th was considered unlucky, it might be harder to shake, but I guess Fridays already have good vibes attached to them, so it’s easier to turn around. I hope today, and your weekend are all you want them to be.

  5. Debbie Kirsch on July 14, 2018 at 3:46 AM

    Karen, your overall message is so inspiring—it just lifted me up! I ‘d love for us to know each other better! A funny thing for me to say, since I was your boss for a time, about 100 years ago.LOL For everyone else, it was BK, before (her) kids. I was heartbroken when you left; I’m not good at handling change most of the time.But, I’m so glad I found your blog, and I ENCOURAGE you to keep going! You will get published!

  6. Karen DeBonis on July 14, 2018 at 12:43 PM

    Thanks for your wonderful comment, Debbie! I think it was 100 years ago that you were my boss (not that either of us has aged at all in that time. lol) I’m so glad we’ve reconnected, too. Facebook has its negatives, but it sure is effective at helping people to connect. I truly appreciate your encouragement 🙂

  7. PHONEGAL52 on July 15, 2018 at 2:17 PM

    HI  I am sorry to read this about your sister Glad to hear she is doing okay and nice that you were there with her. Boy you have been through a lot. You are a strong woman and I love your positive attitude.  I will keep all of you in my prayers and sending you many prayers and hugs  XOXO 

    Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

    • Karen DeBonis on July 15, 2018 at 4:55 PM

      I appreciate the hugs and prayers! I don’t always feel strong, (or positive) but I’m definitely wiser for the wear, and that’s equally valuable 🙂

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