Op-eds
Opinion pieces I wrote for my local paper, the Albany Times Union. My first one, in 2016, is the piece that told me I could become a “real” writer.
Birthday wish for healing
A Birthday Wish for National Healing
Albany Times Union, Sunday, October 16, 2016
November 8th is a big day – my birthday. I’m not the jewelry or trinket-expecting type of birthday girl. Usually I’m happy with dinner out, heart-felt cards, and something practical. Like having my husband finally rebuild the basement stairs. Hint, hint, Dear.
This year, I’m getting a whammy of a gift – an end to election season – and I can’t wait. But this gift comes with messy, tangled strings attached. And the wrapping may look pretty, but pop off the lid and hatred spews out. I’m not talking about the President-elect and how Americans feel about that individual. I’m talking about the contempt we Americans have for each other. It’s no secret, no “Surprise!” Like a present that gets handed around the crowd for “oohing” and “awing,” we have all seen the malice circulating, felt it in our hearts, weighed it in our hands. Unless you’ve spent the last year hidden in a box, you’ve been party to it.
It’s always good when the lid comes off the truth, no matter how painful. But now we have some damage-control to do. And that’s what I really want for my birthday: I want our country to heal from the wounds of the past year. So here’s my birthday wish-list:
- From people who talk, write, and educate for a living: Don’t put the box of vitriol on a shelf or hide it in the back of a closet, please. Like the scent of a favorite perfume that wafts into the air, there’s no stuffing it back in. It’s out there – the fact that some of us hate others of us. Keep thinking, talking, and writing about how we might fix it. And don’t make it an “us vs. them” conversation. That’s re-gifting. We are one people, regardless of our vast differences, and we need your help to remember that.
- From individuals who believe and think differently than I: I’d like more listening and less talking, please. As I ineloquently explain my opinions and stumble on the facts that support me, try to hear me out. I’ll do the same for you. And when your facts contradict my facts, let’s both remember that there are multiple ways to skew data. See, we’ve already found common ground! By keeping open minds and ears, we might learn a thing or two about each other. Maybe this is just a scotch-tape solution to a big tear between us, but healing has to start somewhere.
- From Mrs. Clinton: If you win, please pay attention to the large number of voters who backed your opponent, even if they did not ultimately vote for him. They are hurting. Use your formidable influence and considerable experience to not only raise them up, but to bring us all back together. You’ve had experience crossing the aisle. Help us to do that as well.
- From Mr. Trump: If you win, you have reached the pinnacle of your personal life and professional career. Is there anything else you really need? You have an opportunity to set aside your own gains in order to make decisions that benefit those who put you into office. What’s best for business isn’t always what’s best for humanity. Humanity is counting on you. Make us more important than you, please.
- From my husband: I’d still like the basements steps, please. It won’t much matter to anyone outside of our household. But moving easily out of the dank and into the light would make this November 8th a day to remember for a lifetime of birthdays.
It’s all about the seating
An aisle does nothing to bridge divides. Published in the Times Union’s Perspective section.
Albany Times Union
Years ago, when I was an elementary school counselor, I often facilitated “friendship groups” for students. The purpose was to help children learn how to make and keep friends, thereby reducing conflicts in the classroom.
I recall a pair of 8-year-old boys from the same third grade classroom. They constantly picked fights with each other, according to their teacher. Separating them to opposite sides of the classroom didn’t help. The aisles between them may have prevented physical altercations, but did nothing to build a relationship.
Because I forget their names, I’ll call these students Bernie and Marco.
My strategy for Bernie and Marco was simple: help them find shared interests, get to know each other, and have fun doing it.
I helped things along, of course.
“Bernie, you have a dog, right? What’s his name again?”
Marco tried not to smile as Bernie gave his dog’s first, middle, and last names.
“Marco, what about your dog? Didn’t you say she has a toilet-flushing trick?”
Bernie was all ears.
After a few sessions of talking and playing Go Fish, I can’t say Bernie and Marco became BFFs, but their behavior in the classroom improved. I encouraged their teacher to have them sit and work together to help nurture the seeds of accord.
Fences make great neighbors, but aisles make great adversaries.
Like the aisle in Congress. It serves no purpose. It makes enemies of colleagues sitting on the other side. It reinforces the “us or them” mentality. That aisle represents – or does it reinforce? – the divisions in our country.
What would happen if the congressional aisle served the same purpose as an aisle in a movie theater or a church: simply to expedite getting in and out of one’s seat?
What if members of Congress were seated not by party affiliation but alphabetically?
If so, Sens. Bernie Sanders and Marco Rubio would sit side-by-side. Some other interesting Senate pairings:
- Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) and Deb Fischer (R-Neb.)
- Al Franken (D-Minn.) and Jeff Flake (R-Ariz.)
- Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.) and Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.)
- And John McCain (R-Ariz.) sandwiched between Edward Markey (D-Mass.) and Claire McCaskill (D-Mo.)
Imagine the conversation that might occur one morning:
Marco: Excuse me and good morning, Bern. How was your flight in?
Bernie: We had some nasty turbulence, but nothing compared to this place, right?
Marco: Hah! Good one. Hey, I picked you up a very hot coffee, but I’ve heard you can take the heat.
Bernie: Hah! Touché.
There you go. Sowing the seeds of accord. Just like two kids talking about their pets.
In elementary school, even if a kid doesn’t have a favorite superhero, or doesn’t like cafeteria pizza, or colors outside the lines, you’re supposed to learn to get along with them. The lesson applies to high school, college, and the workplace. But Congress gets an aisle?
It’s time to vacuum away the carpeted line in the sand. It’s time for Congress to set an example for the American people. Sit together. Get to know each other. Be respectful if you expect your neighbor to share the armrest or pull in their legs so you can go to the restroom.
How hard can it be? I’m sure there’s a competent teacher out there who would be willing to draw up a seating chart.