May 2021 Newsletter

Hello Friend! 

I hope you’re relishing spring and our gradual return to normalcy. I recently enjoyed a long-awaited visit with my fully immunized family, and I met my sweet but skittish first grand-puppy, Lucy! (The awkward pose was recommended to make Lucy less timid of me, but she’s doubtful.)

Maybe Lucy should watch my new one-minute Hello video on my website. And what about you? If you and I have only met through the written word, here’s your chance to hear my voice and see me in (sitting down) action.  

While you’re on my website, I hope you’ll check out this month’s blog, if you haven’t already. It’s about fear and anger–two challenging emotions for people-pleasers–and what happens when they intersect. Even if you don’t have the disease to please, I hope you’ll take a peek. Fear and anger are universal reactions to life, and you may gain some insights about yourself and those with whom you interact.

In researching my blog, I found this article about overcoming one’s fear of conflict caught my eye. It inspired me to create a list of 50 small steps people-pleasers can take to get comfortable with the discomfort of conflict. It will be available soon for subscribers like you.

If you read the article above and have any suggestions to add to my list, or if you’d like a sneak preview of my 50 steps, please reply to this email and let me know!

When the list is complete, I’ll be sure to let you know. 

Here’s an FYI about next month’s blog: it may be iffy. I can’t make any promises, because, on June 2, I’ll be getting knee replacement surgery–the first of two. I’m not looking forward to the surgery and recovery, but I can’t wait to feel young again. That’s the way it works, right?

While I’m convalescing, I plan to read Perfectly Hidden Depression by Margaret Robinson Rutherford. (I won’t link to Amazon because you can buy it at your local indie book store.) In the years leading up to my son’s brain tumor diagnosis, I probably experienced this type of depression, and I hope to gain some insights that can inform my memoir and other writing. 

Remember that memoir–the one I’ve been writing for forever? Two literary agents are currently reviewing my full manuscript, but there are no guarantees they’ll offer to represent me, so I’m continuing to query other agents. I hope all my hard work will pay off soon.

And, once my bionic knee is fully functional, I hope to be working hard again in the garden. Here’s a photo of the French lilac that bloomed last week. I wish you could smell it. It’s so fragrant, sometimes I have to close the kitchen window because the scent is overwhelming!

Next month, I’ll have new updates and a new knee. I won’t share any gory photos, but I promise to share embarrassing pics of me learning to use a walker. Sigh. Growing old isn’t for the faint of heart.

Be well.  



  • Karen DeBonis

    Karen DeBonis writes about motherhood, people-pleasing, and personal growth, the entangled mix told in her memoir "Growth: A Mother, Her Son, and the Brain Tumor They Survived" forthcoming in spring 2023. Subscribe today to receive Chapter 1: A Reckoning.

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