Book description:
GROWTH is about shattered expectations of motherhood.
GROWTH is about the collision of medical gaslighting and a mother's people-pleasing, shattering her expectations of motherhood and threatening the survival of her young son.
GROWTH is about a women's naive expectations of motherhood and her inability to speak up, even when her child's survival depends on it.
Karen is a happily married, slightly frazzled mother of two when her eight-year-old son, Matthew, develops a strange eye-rolling tic. Matthew’s tics quickly multiply. He becomes clumsy and lethargic, a gifted program dropout. Karen tries to get her husband and their pediatrician to acknowledge what’s happening, but they dismiss her concerns. As a people-pleaser, Karen lacks the skills to assert herself and stifles the growing dread in her heart. For three years, Matthew steadily deteriorates while Karen questions if she has the fortitude required of motherhood. Finally, desperation breaks through her fear of conflict, and she demands answers, only to be horrified by the truth.
Matthew has a brain tumor.
A delicate surgery and promise of complete recovery convince Karen her battle is over. But she is wrong. The ensuing years launch her on a journey of perseverance and personal growth she never imagined, teaching Karen just how weak she is--and then exactly how strong.
Tagline:
Can a woman who never learned to stand up for herself find the courage to speak up for her son?
Themes:
- People-pleasing; listening to your gut
- Medical gaslighting
- Societal and internalized expectations of mothers
- The education system’s expectations of children and parents
- Extreme demands of motherhood
- Childhood medical crises; mourning the loss of the child you knew
- Parenting a neurodiverse child
- Living with a mild cognitive impairment
- Perseverance. Love.
Target audiences:
- Mothers
- Women who struggle to speak up for themselves
- Parents of children with neurodiversity and educational challenges
- Individuals in the brain tumor/injury communities and their families
- Those who have fought to be heard in the healthcare system
- Readers who enjoy memoirs, medical mysteries, and inspirational stories
Events:
Wednesday, April 30, 2025, 1pm EST. Empowered Women Book Club. Online book club to discuss Growth: A Mother, Her Son, and the Brain Tumor They Survived. Email contact@karendebonis.com for video link.
Bio—Short
Karen DeBonis writes about motherhood, people-pleasing, and personal growth, inspired by the experience of raising her son, Matthew. Her debut memoir Growth: A Mother, Her Son, and the Brain Tumor They Survived was released by Apprentice House Press in May 2023. Karen’s work has appeared in The New York Times, Huff Post, Today.com, Newsweek.com, and others. A happy empty-nester, Karen lives in upstate New York with her husband of forty years. You can see more of her work at www.karendebonis.com.
Bio—Long
Pittsburgh, PA native Karen DeBonis (nee Rampolla) honed her childcare skills babysitting her younger siblings and neighborhood children. She attended Catholic grade school and public high school, then left home for the Catholic University of America in Washington, D.C., where she met her future husband Michael. She knew from the start he was “a keeper.”
In 1980, Karen graduated with a BA in psychology, Michael with a BS in architecture. They married and moved to Troy, NY, where they raised their sons Matthew and Stephen.
Karen later earned her masters degree in health education from Russell Sage College and spent her career working with children and adults. Despite not being a writer, she felt compelled to capture the medical mystery that had befallen her family. She knew from the beginning that what drove the story was her people-pleasing.
Like many aspiring writers, after several years, Karen quit. A decade passed before she picked up her pen again. This time, she finished.
Growth: A Mother, Her Son, and the Brain Tumor They Survived was released in May 2023 by Apprentice House Press. It’s the story of a woman’s naive expectations of motherhood and inability to assert herself, even when her son’s survival depended on it.
Karen’s work has appeared in The New York Times, Huff Post, Today.com, Newsweek.com and others. She and Michael, married for 40 years, relish their empty nest almost as much as they treasure their relationships with their adult sons. Learn more at www.karendebonis.com
Interviews, mentions, podcasts, the kitchen sink...
Let's Talk Memoir podcast with Ronit Plank. The Vulnerability of Writing About Difficult Motherhoods.
Radio Health Journal interview. Medical Gaslighting: What to do When Doctors Stop Listening to You.
I Don't Know How You Do It podcast with Jessica Fein. From People-Pleaser to Badass.
Billy Dees podcast. Growth: A Mother, Her Son, and the Brain Tumor They Survived on YouTube. (Also listen on Apple Podcasts, iHeart Radio, Amazon Music, and more.)
One Line, One Love podblog with Gail Boenning and Jay Armstrong. Honesty builds trust.
Claiming Your Voice podcast with Janeice Garrard. People-pleasing: The struggle is real.
Elevating Voices in Memoir and Fiction podcast with Joelle Tamraz. Author interview.
About This Life podcast with Ann-Marie Mahoney. From Motherhood to She-Bear: Journey of Courage and Advocacy
Healing Words podcast with Pamela Nichols. Instinct and Inner Healing.
Albany Times Union book spotlight: "A powerful and emotional memoir."
Writing Class Radio essay reading: Even the weak can weather the storm.
Sample Q&A
When did your writing journey begin?
I took my first memoir-writing class around 1999 at an arts center in Troy, NY. I wasn’t a writer, in fact, the most creative thing I’d written since 8th grade was a resume,* but I knew I had a story to tell. My writing was awful. I didn’t have a clue what I was doing.
*Actually, I did write a “book” for Matthew when he was a toddler. “Mommy Goes on a Trip.”
It took you over 20 years to write Growth?
Not exactly. I took classes, joined writer’s groups, and worked on my book for about five years. Then, little by little, I lost my drive. In 2006, we moved across town and our old dinosaur of a computer with my files on it got stashed in the attic. I didn’t write again until 2016.
Why 2016?
I developed some health issues that made it impossible for me to continue working. I was sad to leave my career, but I knew the universe had given me a gift—time to finish my book.
Can you clarify the names you use for family members?
In real life, I call my husband Michael. But acquaintances and even people we didn’t know have always mixed-up his name with Matthew, assuming “Michael” was my son and “Matthew” was my husband. Don’t ask me why. “Mike” sounds to me more like an adult’s name, so that’s what I use in the book to avoid confusion. Also in real life, Matthew asked to be called “Matt” starting in 5th grade. I thought it would be too confusing for the reader to make that transition at that part of the story, but I made the switch toward the end of the book. (Also in real life, Stephen became “Steve” in 5th grade, but since he’s a minor character in the book, I kept his name constant.)
What were some of the highlights in your writing journey?
I wrote an op-ed for my local paper in 2016, at the very beginning of my reignited writing journey. It wasn’t related to my book, but I had an idea I thought readers might enjoy. When the editor wrote back to accept it, I was less excited by his acceptance and more by his words: “This is a fine piece.” That told me I was capable of becoming a "real" writer. I ran in to tell Michael, blubbering so much, he had no idea what I was saying.
Then, of course, there was my first acceptance in a literary journal, and my two New York Times Tiny Love Story. Once I got my book deal, the highlights came faster and faster until by early 2023, a few months before my release, I was numb, exhausted, overjoyed, and surprisingly craving more. Writing is fraught with rejection, but getting a book published is a real ego-trip. I look forward to returning to my quiet life soon.
How does it feel to share your personal story so deeply?
Scary. But I knew it would be that way, and my belief that others’ will be helped by my story gives me the courage to continue.
What about your family? What about Matt? How do they feel about being in the public eye?
Matthew has been supportive since day one. He and I are both nervous about sharing our story, but in his words, “It’s time to rip off the bandage.” When Stephen first read the manuscript a couple of years before I got my book deal, he said, “I’m so proud of you, Mom.” He was just coming out of his extended ornery teen phase, and I nearly melted. Michael has been my biggest cheerleader all along. It’s not his nature to share personal information, so it’s been hard for him, but he’s quick to tell others’ about my book and hand them my book business card. I call him my "marketing manager.”
Did you even wonder if you might not finish your book?
I had moments of doubt, but I really felt the universe intended for me to finish it, that it was my life’s work. I couldn’t argue with that feeling—it didn’t allow me to quit.