“Riveting. A page-turner,” says my editor.
Photo courtesy Pixabay.
My editor emailed this comment to me over a week ago regarding the first section of my memoir manuscript. I should have been thrilled. I was thrilled. I AM thrilled.
So why did it take mo so long to sing my own praises, to toot my own horn? Why am I dragging my feet?
(Don’t worry, I didn’t succumb to cliches in my manuscript, which is perhaps one reason she liked it.)
“I don’t know why,” is the answer, but in writing this, I’ll figure it out. So let me explore:
I’m afraid people won’t believe that she meant it.
There—that’s it. That was pretty simple.
That’s what I love about writing–how putting the letters together to make words to form a sentence to complete a thought pulls my feelings out of my subconscious and splashes them on the page.
And that’s what I hate about writing. Sometimes the splash is confrontational, a tsunami of destruction to my ego. Some of the editing I’ve been doing lately has brought to the surface deep flaws in my character, weaknesses I’m loath to admit.
But I own them. I’m pushing through the squalid waters because that’s how I’ll grow.
Maybe that’s what made my manuscript “riveting” and “a page turner”–it’s my unfiltered truth.
Just for the record, my beta readers finished section 2 of my manuscript last week. Guess what they said?
“A page turner.”
You’d better believe it, folks.
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Most of us are our worst critics, Karen. Keep in mind we’ve been reading your blogs for a bit, so we know your style and wit. The only part that scares me about reading your memoir is that I’ll feel very sad for the awful things my friend Karen went through; the best part will be I know there’s a happy ending.
The best thing you said there, Jack, is "my friend Karen." Yes, it will be sad, but also so uplifting- the story itself, and in my personal growth as a writer and human being. As a writer, you’ll "get" that part. And then you’ll forget all about the sadness.
Karen, I have to think you’re too hard on yourself. No one is equipped to deal with the journey you and your family experienced. Re-telling the story means reliving all of the moments- flashbacks and all. It is painful. I think it will be hard to feel excited about this story… maybe you can go for pride and relief? To the world it is a page turner. To you, it is a journey of pain and it is your son. Be gentle on yourself!
So beautifully said, Laura. Michael also tells me that I’m too hard on myself, and I tell him I just want to own my truth. I don’t mean to be hard or easy, I want to be honest. I know I have to work through this process of reliving and writing my story in order to grow. If I go through all this pain and I haven’t learned who I really am, it will have been a waste of time. I keep that in mind, and whatever the outcome – best seller, an appearance on the Today show and a movie deal; or dud – I will be a better person as a result.
Very cool, Karen!
You got that right, Vicki. Wait til it happens to you!